If you read the earlier post about the day I heard my own inner monologue you know that I’ve found immense help in parenting through my meditation practice. But still, I see so many new and seasoned parents making mistaken assumptions about what it means to practice mindfulness or learn meditation as a parent.
I want to debunk the 3 biggest misconceptions about what it means to have a meditation practice as a parent.
1: You have to spend all this time sitting on the cushion. XX
(Buzzer Sound) Nope! While certainly finding time to do the formal practice can be helpful in getting grounded in the initial stages of the meditation technique, it isn't required to have a practice. As longtime meditation teacher Susan Piver says, "We're practicing becoming better humans, not to be the quintessential follower of the breath!" The techniques I teach involve finding ways to bring awareness into everyday activities, and yes, even into those tense moments when parenting meets the proverbial road! And for those quick moments when you do have time to actually sit, you can be in a chair, in the car (parked please!), or even walking! All equally spiritual and effective.
2: You have to be able to calm your mind. XX
Ok truth time. If this were a requirement I'd be out of luck. I can't ever make my thoughts stop. They always seem to be going a mile a minute- especially when I'm trying to parent! Let me reveal a secret about the style of meditation I teach. You are NOT quieting your mind! It may happen that it quiets down sometimes as a result of practice, but we didn't make that happen. Then what are we doing? We are making friends with our mind, and our situation just as it is. And in checking in with ourselves and getting to know that person we also happen to be better able to notice when this person is upset, or in need of something, and we are better able to take care of them- read self-care!
3: You don't have the time for doing this. XX
Ok yes I get it, there are 1000 other things which seem to need getting done. Laundry, cleaning the kitchen, picking up those endlessly reappearing piles of toys. But has doing those tasks instead of practicing self care ever actually made them stop? They will just keep coming back. So really, which is more important? I would suggest that if you're planning to finish the to-do list before you allow yourself time to get to know who you are, you're never going to find the time for you in the first place.
Really. None of these mean you can't meditate. Having a meditation practice is all about making friends with the situation you're in, with the mind you have, with the family dynamic you have. Right now, just as it is.
Key Takeaways
Meditating as a parent doesn’t have to be this big hard task. You do have enough time to do it, and you are able to practice.
It doesn’t have to take lots of time away from your family
It doesn’t require quieting your mind
This is a practice that is accessible to anyone who can simply take a breath.